What to hope for?

As I type this my twitter feed is ticking in front of me, telling me that the boat is surrounded, that the man thought to be one of the Boston marathon bombers, is about to be caught. They have him. He’s alive. The suspect is in custody.

My feed has gone quiet now. What next? What now do we hope will unfold?

In the rush of silence I think of all the horror and heroism of the past week. Of all the ways that people felt fragile and vulnerable and frightened. All of the ways people mentioned how grateful they felt for their loved ones, how tightly they held on to one another.

It has been a long week, we’re all looking for a silver lining.

It seems like a strange time to be celebrating, and yet, on Tuesday night I had a chance to do just that. I was lucky enough to get to be around a lot of people I love. I got to laugh with them, and hug them and thank them for all the ways they changed my life. On Tuesday, April 16th, I had the book launch for Out With It.

bookcourt

It was a night of hours that skidded by too fast. It was gilded, better than I could have ever imagined. There was a billboard in Times Square and a sold out bookstore. It was a night made memorable for all the right reasons.

FB - Crowd at BookCourt

Now, in the aftermath of everything, I think about all the outcomes that we look towards. In the face of disappointments and disasters, what kind of recovery do we hope for?

In the wake of celebration, what then do we hope will happen?

A small part of me gets to hope for big dreams, for Out With It to change the conversation around perfection and normalcy. A much bigger part of me just hopes that a few people read it. I wonder what people will think of it, what they will think of me.

In the aftermath of everything I feel immensely vulnerable. I feel fragile knowing that my book, this thing I looked at in the privacy of my home for almost 5 years, is now out in the world waiting to be judged.

I hope that people like it. I hope I don’t look like a fool. I hope that it does some good to as many people as possible. I hope that the joy I felt on Tuesday will carry me through whatever challenging times, and wonderful times, lie ahead. Looking around an apartment full of cards, and flowers and notes from people I love, I hope that I will always feel as grateful as I do tonight.

Gratitude

5 thoughts on “What to hope for?

  1. Feeling grateful is the most wonderful feeling in the world. I try to remember to feel it as often as possible.

    You’re brave to put it all out there Kat. I’ve got a few hundred words to share as part of a critique group and I’m bleeding terrified.

    As for the book, people will love it, of course.

    But above everything, you only went and did it. You bloody well did it. x

  2. You should feel immensely proud. You went after a dream, and stayed with it and made the dream happen.
    I am about half way through, and I find it to be as brilliant as I expected it to be.

  3. I saw your interview on the Today show. I immediately purchased your book on my Kindle. I loved the book and admire you for writing it. It will help and give hope to many people.

    • Janice – Thank you so much for buying the book (and watching my Today show interview). It is messages like yours that make all the hard work of writing the book feel enormously worthwhile – I certainly hope the book with help lots of people.

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